Former Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger previously admitted to battling bulimia.
The former X Factor co-judge now explains her struggles in more detail. “Thinking about it I try not to well up,” the 36-year-old begins. “It is such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me. I felt so alone… But I made myself so alone. You hide it from the world, you isolate yourself.”
Nicole reveals that throwing up damaged her voice so badly she struggled to sing live shows. She hit rock bottom when her manager found her passed out.
“I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself.’ One day when you feel like you’ve reached the end, you just say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore,’” said added of having the disorder in her 20s.
She continues, “It’s sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside. I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life – I was 27 only once.”
Nicole admits, “I can empathize so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life. But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever. I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story… But you can beat it — do not give up because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things.”
Previously, Nicole revealed on her VH1 Behind the Music special, “I never spoke about it, I never want to play a victim and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart.”
Adding, “I guess it was like my addiction. I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”